英语搞笑短片两则

Eiland

1
瞎眼乞丐

There was a blind beggar wearing sunglasses and asking for money.
一个盲人乞丐戴着墨镜在乞讨。
A drunk man walked by, thinking the beggar was pitiful, threw him a hundred dollars.
一个醉汉经过，觉得乞丐很可怜就扔给了他100美元。
After walking a few steps, the drunkard turned around to see the blind man holding the money up to the sunlight to check if it was genuine.
醉汉走了几步之后，转身看到盲人正拿着钱在太阳底下检查它是不是真的。
The drunk man, feeling cheated, ran back and snatched the money back, “You’re gonna die! How dare you cheat me...”
醉汉觉得自己受骗了，就跑回去把钱一把夺回，说到：“你会不得好死的!竟敢骗我。。。。。。”
The blind man, not wanting to feel like a cheater, retorted, “Hey man, I’m sorry, I’m just here to replace my friend who really is blind. He went to the bathroom, and should be right back...Actually...I’m mute.”
盲人不想让人觉得他是个骗子，就反驳道，“嘿，兄弟。对不起，我只是来这替我的朋友的，他才是真的盲人。他去厕所了，马上就回来。。。。。。事实上。。。。。。我是个哑巴。”
“Oh, oh, in that case...” whereupon the drunk threw the money back and stumbled away.
“哦，这样的话。。。。。。”于是醉汉又把钱扔了回去，跌跌撞撞地走了。

2    两个猎人

Two hunters hire a small plane to take them to a remote area of Canada. Upon dropping off the hunters，the pilot tells them, "Remember only one moose, because the plane wouldn' t be able to take off with more weight than that.” The hunters go off. A week later when the plane returns to pick them up the two hunters are standing by the lake with two moose.
两个猎人租了一架小型飞机带他们去加拿大的一个偏僻地区。当两个猎人到达目的地下飞机时，飞行员告诉他们说:“记住，飞机只能带一只驼鹿，否则飞机会因为过重而无法起飞。”两个猎
人就这样打猎去了。
The pilot fumes, "I told you guys only one moose, and you' 11 have to leave one because we won’t be able to take off with that much weight.” "Oh, come on,” beg the two hunters, "Last year the pilot let us take two moose on, you’re just a chicken.”
过了一个星期，当飞机返回原地接他们的时候看到他们身边有两只驼鹿。飞行员愤怒地说:“我告诉过你们，只能带一只驼鹿。你们必须丢下一只否则飞机过重无法起飞。”“哦，别这样”，两个猎人哀求道，“去年那个飞行员让我们带了两只驼鹿呢，你胆子也太小了。”
Not wanting to be accused of being a coward，the pilot allows the two to bring both moose on the craft. The plane starts across the lake, straining to take off. The pilot tries and tries to no avail and the plane crashes into the trees at the end of the lake. A while later after coming to one of the hunters gets up and looks at all the scattered debris of the wreck and says, "Where are we?" To which the other hunter replies, "Oh，I’d say about a hundred yards farther than last year.
飞行员怕别人说他是胆小鬼，于是就同意带上两只驼鹿一起走。当飞机穿过一个湖后开始迫降。飞行员用尽办法也无济于事，飞机坠落在湖边的一片树林里。过了不久，一个猎人起身看着
飞机的残骸说:“我们这是在哪?’’另一个猎人回答:“哦，我觉得比去年还远了一百码呢。”



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